Why do we run away from Grief?

 It is commonly felt or understood that happiness and smiley faces are positive human emotions but sadness and crying are negative.

It is a social coding that has been passed onto us from generations together and any kind of grief is taboo or negative.

As human beings we are a bundle of all kinds of emotions I feel very sad at people who tell me that they had only a very very happy childhood, growing up adult, and adulthood.

They have not experienced any trauma or struggle that makes them human beings that can handle any difficulty in life.

There are also people who believe that sad movies they would not like to visit. Sad events or grief make us stronger and bolder in life to be able to see human emotions in totality.

Hence, I cannot relate to people who only go to the very happy-go-lucky and fun evoking experiences of life. I would like to ask them what are they running from and what they are missing from the life of totality of human emotions.

Even episodes of anger, futility, helplessness, and sorrow should be considered valid to any human being. In my profession as a counselor or behavior trainer when a client comes to me with his grief and sorrow I can understand him from my own location of grief and sorrow.

I too would have gone through multiple episodes and experiences of life. This has a trigger in me and then only I can empathize with an individual or client from my own location.

Otherwise, I would be offering superficial advice of what he should be doing or not doing but not connecting it to my world.

I would rather say yes I too have gone through such experience in life and would respond in such a manner.

I would refrain from suggestions or advice because they are only at the head level and not the heart level.

How would you relate or run away from this phenomenon of grief and sorrow?

Author:-Dr. Nayana Shah (Ph.D.)

           Director, Manthan

             Ahmedabad

Comments

  1. Sudeshna bhojiaMarch 29, 2022 at 12:13 AM

    While reading the blog, I was relating to the webinar we had during Covid period on fb page of Visamo- where we were talking of different types of Qs and you had spoken of Adversity Quotient.

    The more we run away from something, the greater it chases us... that's my take on this. Rather- face it, deal with it and keep it where it belongs- in the past.

    Having said that- I feel that many a times, to deal with anxiety, grief, people do resort to fun. That's their way of dealing with the emotion and the emerging consequences. Every person have their unique way of coping up-- of responding- we can't be judgmental about that.

    Yes, by empathizing, we may certainly support the person / empower the other person to accept the cards and play them as well.

    ReplyDelete

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