The Individual or The Collective

 

Many times I struggle to take a position that is an individualist location or one that drives me into a collective space. What determines this choice is what I ask myself many times. When I take a stand that is individualist my reference point would be needed for the self. Here I respond to what is important to me my needs and the people in my world.

However, I also respond at times to choices that make me want to belong. There is fear of being left out, fear of being left alone, and a question mark am I alone in all of these?

Deep down I am more of a person who responds to the individual self but social norms, social coding, and social compulsion also push me into a collective space. For Example, would I rather watch a movie or read a book all myself or go to a party where there are 20 people to entertain and engage me.

Over a period I have realized that my pull is towards being alone but then when I need people for support very few are around me. Especially in corona times, there were people who wanted to reach out to people whereas there were some who were very happy being alone boxed in their own homes with few people and doing their own things.

It’s more of a human phenomenon that both the pulls are important but I sense that definitely, each person has a greater or lesser need to belong to one or the other.

So when I refuse to go to a party people are unable to understand that it’s not demeaning of the party but also prefer to be happy with fewer people or even myself.

Many times we get pulled into one or the other location in spite of the other wish. So there are also psychometric tests that scientifically measure whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. There is no judgment on either of them. None of them are considered as having more or fewer capabilities. It’s just that it’s your preference and both options are valid for any human being.

Only if you are aware of who you are as an individual you will make the right choice and feelings appropriate to your nature without feeling guilty.

This is just one more reflection to think about whether I belong to the individual or the collective space.

Author:-Dr. Nayana Shah (Ph.D.)

           Director, Manthan

             Ahmedabad

Comments

  1. BinaOctober 5, 2021 at 1:13 AM

    Can’t agree with you more. It was like you were voicing my thoughts. Which makes me think, we are not rare. Many people think like us in this respect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nayana's StoriesOctober 5, 2021 at 11:05 PM

      Yes we relate to each other in many ways and that is why we get along son much. Love you.

      Delete
  2. Sudeshna bhojiaOctober 5, 2021 at 2:37 AM

    Yes, indeed- a very good topic touched, Nayanaben!

    I empathize with you..

    I myself face the dilemma often- I love solitude and I don't like gatherings and limelight. My work requires me to be very very outgoing- something I am not comfortable about, at all.

    I am required to do networking, make speeches or address gatherings- but deep inside I don't like public speaking at all; yet I do not have stage fright.

    Whenever there is an event at our organization, I feel like remaining behind my desk at office and delegate the networking role to other team members.

    I know myself well, as my entire childhood and teenage, I loved being at home with books and music.

    I am the one who does not love partying but my love for food pulls me towards accepting invites. Given an option- I prefer to stay to myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nayana's StoriesOctober 5, 2021 at 11:07 PM

      We are similar in our though process hence can understand each other quite well and become good team members. Love you.

      Delete

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