The Joy of Living in a Boundary Less World

 

All of us would wish that we live in a free world where there are no boundaries, no compulsions, no rules and regulations, no code of conduct to be followed.

This world would be a utopia and I would just be able to do what I wish to do. Flow freely, run freely, fly freely like a bird. Boundaries makes me feel restricted compulsive and suffocated in my actions.

This is the ideal world I would like to live in. However we are living in a world where we have evolved as a society as a generation and humanity. This evolution also means we are tied by dos and don’ts of the society; regulations of the world and code of conduct to be accepted as normal.

However there are some emotional boundaries wherein I am allowed to feel in a particular way and those are governed by people at large. For e.g. If there is a loss or death around me, my immediate response should be of grief and or that of crying. We are governed by a code of conduct on how to feel, what to feel and when to feel and how to behave based on those feelings. I would love to laugh at silly joke, but respect for people stops me from doing so.

Similarly we are also governed by code of conduct that govern us at the social level. Here what is governed is the modality of behavior and that make us approve the society that we live. In times of corona how much am I helpful or do I hold myself back would be validated as a socially appropriate or inappropriate behavior. There are lots of judgments that the society passes on what is acceptable and non-acceptable behavior.

Hence many a times I struggle between what is dear to me and what is accepted by the society. Often times I have to make a choice and there by paying a price that pleases or displeases one or the other.

Another domain is of professional boundaries that are set in professional group conditions and structures. Here the boundaries are more tightly held than the emotional or the social ones. The code of conduct is much more rigid. The dos and don’ts are quite strictly defined and there are definite structures which govern these boundaries. Formal relationships and work conditions become the culture of maintaining the boundaries. The culture of a particular system determines the extend of formality or informality to be maintained.

So where do you map yourself visa a versa what you have created for yourself. Each one of us struggles and fights for the appropriate location for the self. Do I box myself in modes of appropriate behavior or find some opening that allow me to fly like a bird. But the bird also has its own laws, its own rhythm and own territories to feed on.

Author:- Dr. Nayana Shah (Ph.D.)

                Director, Manthan

               Ahmedabad