Unfolding of the Drama of the Giver and the Receiver within us.

 

We are living in a context where at each step we wonder whether we should give or receive. Our needs are such that we get pulled by both the worlds that of the Giver and that of the Receiver simultaneously.

What is it in each one of us that creates the sense of fulfilment and joy in being the giver. Behavioural theories also equates this phenomenon with the location with being a powerful one. So to what power does it give a giver or being on the giving side? I would like to relate this reality my context. I have found immense fulfilment in generally offering myself to institutions which generally are not for profit motive. Some of these could be like Sumedhas, AMA, IIM Ahmedabad, NID, HDSI, HDSG, Live Love Life Foundation, Teach For India and many others.

I would like to travel a journey with one of them. The kalorex foundation which is the parent of Visamo Kids Foundation. I have been associated with this institute for last 10 years. The motivation is to still be deeply involved, deeply attached and deeply committed in various forms and roles.

Initially, I joined as the VTG President, this opportunity came at a very interesting juncture where I had just submitted my Ph.D. Thesis. The Tittle of my thesis was “Institution Building Experiences in Indian Organisations”.

There was immense pull to engage with Institutional work and processes which was at the core of my identity.

In engaging with Visamo I started in a leadership role as the President of their Task Group. However the pull was too strong to remain only in that role. So I offered lots of insights and interventions into looking at the structure, the processes and individual choice making by the students.

Visamo was only structured to offer its resources only to students up to class XIIth. I had a very strong need and pull to expand this structure beyond class XIIth. So, we started new program “What after XII” under my leadership.

Another important intervention from my end was the mentoring program where we developed a frame work wherein each student after VIII to class XIIgets an individual mentor to share his choices, his dreams, his vision and struggles in life.

From day 1 my Organisation Manthan is also engaged in career Guidance choices and process for children after class VIIIth. The entire Manthan team is dedicated and committed to this cause with a deep emotional connect.

So what is the motivating factor which still makes me anchored and sustain all energy to still being the giver in this domain? What is it that I am receiving?

Corona has made our context very difficult because of shutdown of schools and colleges. However, the engagement with Visamo children is an ongoing process extremely fulfilling, joyful and makes us believe this is where we belong.

So what is the Psychology of the giver? The Giver also enjoys the location of being one up on the receiver. Many times I wonder am I also falling into the trap of feeling one up in the trap of being the giver.

Many a times I feel I am abundant with emotional, social, professional and economic resources. So it is natural to bring about equality in the context we live.

Even in this times of Corona each one is struggling to identify what is my location? The giver or receiver.

When I reflect on my location of the receiver, what am I receiving? I am being able to be a part of the collective voice of the underprivileged. Things that I cannot do alone, is wherein I pack myself into a role where I can do something together. I also get an identity which is institutional in nature. I receive very deep and intense thank you cards which could be the best gift of my life.

So let’s each one of us reflect on where do I anchor myself.

In times of corona, can I create space for myself which are fulfilling and enriching. Either as the giver or the receiver.

Can I feel satisfied by contributing to the cause of corona victims? It’s a huge opportunity to feel good with one self. But only if there exists the world of the receiver, will there be the world of givers.



 Author:- Ph.D Nayana Shah

             Director, Manthan

             Ahmedabad

Comments

  1. IndiraMay 24, 2021 at 11:20 PM

    Very well said
    Its easy to give once but to continue to give is important
    Knowing you personally for so many years and now working in close proximity i know your total commitment to visamo
    May your tribe increase

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownMay 25, 2021 at 12:01 AM

    I am glad that I got an opportunity to work with you. It's my pleasure to be with Manthan. I strongly believe in you .A great influence, dedication and strong personality and many more qualities, I can't put in single words. May god bless you with all your dreams and good health.

    ReplyDelete
  3. MukeshMay 27, 2021 at 12:26 AM

    While the blog urges people to be givers more than takers, at a deeper level we all know that like day and night, good and bad, etc. give and take is also simultaneous and returns reciprocal benefits. There is little that is given selflessly. Consideration may not be in material terms but spiritual endowment, that sense of sheer joh that one gets in giving is a return that the act gives to the giver. Similarly by receiving taker also gives that sense of joy to the giver and in a way is contributing in his status as taker. People say Ram’s glory is because of Ravan. So in this context we should not remain in any illusion that selfless giving is an act of divine nature. There is another saying that your left hand should not get to know what your right hand is giving. Giver in this sense is gone. Besides ego of giver it is the self esteem of the taker which needs to be kept intact by keeping it a secret. Lastly, Tera tujhko arpan kya. There is nothing we have which we can give. An individual is just used a means by Almighty to reach out to those who need something.

    ReplyDelete
  4. SudeshnaJune 30, 2021 at 12:30 AM

    Wonderful take on the topic, Nayanaben!

    Visamo Kids is truly blessed to have you as one of the guiding stars.

    I also liked the reflections on 'giver' and 'taker' by another reader of your blog- Mukesh. Totally agree. The givers are validated by the takers. Also considering oneself only as a medium while giving.... very nice thought highlighted.... yes indeed... 'nimitt matr'.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why do we Produce children? When sometimes they are assets and sometimes are liabilities.

  Whenever you get married the first thought that comes to your mind is when you will have children. Having children becomes such an important dream for the parents, the in-laws, and friends around you. People become very curious, noisy, and intruding in this very important phase of one’s life. So having children becomes almost a compulsion at each stage in life. Even if one is not prepared one gets into the rat race of having children. There are very few couples or individuals who make a conscious decision to not having children because they are not prepared for it. Once you have children they become an immense source of joy, fulfillment, and nurturing for the parents. If I were to take my example I had two children in a row and they were the most burdensome and I rarely enjoyed my motherhood until they were five. They were symbols to show off and gratitude towards in-laws. Only once they grew up to be adults could I engage with them on a one-to-one basis. My Husband...
Read more

Don’t rely on Saint and Saige’s for your Solution.

  We often rely on saints, sages and the arrived people for all our solutions. However, we need to ask ourselves whether they are the actual source of all our problems. Actually, if we look inward we can realize that most of the solutions lie within us and I don’t need to look out for any solutions. It’s only the belief in one self that you realize that all the solutions lie within me. It’s all about the faith and conviction that I have in myself to generate solutions in life. If I look at the problem, with a great deal of tension and negativity I will only look for problems outside me. If I have the courage and the faith in myself then I will not look outside of me. You become a prisoner of your own habits if you are unable to get out of it. Only if you are in tune with nature and the real things happening around will you be able to find real solutions. In the name of being god-fearing, we are unable to drop all the shackers and inhabitations we carry towards god and t...
Read more

Be a Mirror to Yourself and Live Life.

  It is important that we reflect on ourselves in the process of living life. A mirror often gives you the realistic image and picture of yourself. So in living life it is important to look at yourself into the mirror and create learnings. Mirror is an object which creates lots of learnings for the self Is there a god which helps you look at real picture on there is no god. When you look into the mirror you discover/recreate. You feel good with yourself or you feel nauseous. Both the realities are true. At times you feel good and on high and at times you may fee horrible. Keep the mirror for a learning of whether you are in the good space or the bad space. At times you may feel very big and at times very small both realities are real. The mirror reflects only what you are it does not pass a judgement on whether you are good or bad that judgement is passed on by the self. If we stumble and fumble we are unable to see ourselves with clarity. Author:-Dr. Nayana Shah (Ph....
Read more